The Apocrypha Discordia
A collection of works on Discordia, written by various Discordian saints, sinners, popes, priests, madmen, miscreants, degenerates, straight-arrows, etc... Compiled from various non-copyrighted (or Kopylefted) sources by Reverend DrJon Swabey and published sometime in the 21st century (the date on the document says 2001, but we're not going to fall for that one).
Although some Discordian cabals consider the work to be canonical (some even going as far as considering it the only canonical Discordian work), there are also many who discount the validity of the document. Others amongst the Discordian movement discount the idea of there being any canonical literature other than Dr. Ramos Montecino's 1667 work Howe to Mayke a Cannon. Most people would probably agree, however, that there are far better things to do with one's time than to shoot works of literature out of any firearm whatsoever.
Thanks to the work of Rev. DrJon, many Discordian writings have been brought together in one place where without him, they may have been lost to the grainy particles of temporality -- leaving us free to peruse or ignore the work at our leisure and for overzealous lunatics to print copies of it so that they may have something to feed the bonfires that warm their cold, empty hearts.
The Original Snub
(From The Principia Discordia, all Rites Reversed)
- It seems that Zeus was preparing a wedding banquet for Peleus and Thetis and did not want to invite Eris because of Her reputation as a trouble maker.*
- This made Eris angry, and so She fashioned an apple of pure gold** and inscribed upon it KALLISTI ("To The Prettiest One") and on the day of the fete She rolled it into the banquet hall and then left to be alone and joyously partake of a hot dog.
- Now, three of the invited goddesses,*** Athena, Hera, and Aphrodite, each immediately claimed it to belong to herself because of the inscription. And they started fighting, and they started throwing punch all over the place and everything.
- Finally Zeus calmed things down and declared that an arbitrator must be selected, which was a reasonable suggestion, and all agreed. He sent them to a shepherd of Troy, whose name was Paris because his mother had had a lot of gaul and had married a Frenchman; but each of the sneaky goddesses tried to outwit the others by going early and offering a bribe to Paris.
- Athena offered him Heroic War Victories, Hera offered him Great Wealth, and Aphrodite offered him the Most Beautiful Woman on Earth. Being a healthy young Trojan lad, Paris promptly accepted Aphrodite's bribe and she got the apple and he got screwed.
- As she had promised, she maneuvered earthly happenings so that Paris could have Helen (The Helen) then living with her husband Menelaus, King of Sparta. Anyway, everyone knows that the Trojan War followed when Sparta demanded their Queen back and that the Trojan War is said to be The First War among men.
- And so we suffer because of the Original Snub. And so a Discordian is to partake of No Hot Dog Buns.
- Do you believe that?
- * This is called THE DOCTRINE OF THE ORIGINAL SNUB
- ** There is historic disagreement concerning whether this apple was of metallic gold or acapulco.
- *** Actually there were five goddesses, but the Greeks did not know the Law of Fives.
The Golden Apple of Discord is thus one of the major symbols associated with 
